Come back to me
by Sara Sidle Grissom
Summary: Following the conversation between Betty Grissom and Sara Sidle in 11x13 TTMG. Is it true that what they have is not a marriage? GSR. Work in Progress.
1. Should I stay

_A/N: I haven't written any fanfiction in nearly 5 years, so I hope I haven't lost my touch. This fic deals with Sara's thoughts after 11x13 TTMG. I will try to continue as soon as I can. Let me know what you think. _

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

_That is not a marriage…_ The words Betty Grissom had signed the previous day were still stuck in her mind like a bad song. She told her mother in law that what she and Gil had was unconventional, and it was. They were happy and it worked for them, at least that is what she kept telling herself. Did it truly work for her, even now after this time?

Coming back to CSI had felt like coming home for her, and she almost couldn't imagine herself doing anything else anymore. There had been times where working at CSI had been hard on her, but she had found a new way to manage the stress. She didn't swallow it all anymore, she talked about it, talked about it with her husband. They talked over Skype, but it was talking nonetheless. Coming back to CSI hadn't been an option for Gil and she respected his decision. His volunteering and occasional work all over the globe made him feel free and allowed him to live his dream. The problem was, it was his dream, not hers. For a long time Sara had been able to put her dreams for a future on a sidetrack, and eventually they started gathering dust somewhere in a corner. They were happy with their life together and there was no reason why she shouldn't continue to be satisfied. That was until Gil's mother shared her worries about their marriage.

Sara let out a deep sigh as she poured herself another coffee in the break room. She was already on her third coffee at the beginning of her shift, which meant it was going to be a long one. She sat down and grabbed the newspaper. It was left open at the sports page and she started reading. Normally she wasn't interested in sports, but right now she would do anything to keep her mind from wandering to her conversation with Betty.

"Look who's reading about baseball," Nick grinned as he walked through the door. "Never thought I'd see the day girl, what's up?"

Sara looked up and gave her friend a small smile. "I uhm… I was just waiting for you to arrive actually so we can get processing our scene that's waiting for us." She got up, rinsed her coffee mug and walked past Nick in the direction of the front door. When she heard his footsteps behind her, she turned on her heel and continued to walk backwards. "Heard we have a possible B&E in Henderson, did Cath fill you in?"

Nick shook his head, "Haven't heard a thing, but I think she's pretty busy at the moment. So, what can you tell me?" He opened the door of the car for her before going around to the driver's side and getting in himself. He buckled up and checked the rear view mirror before pulling out of the parking lot. "Would you program the address for me?"

While Sara put the address in the navigation, she filled him in on their case. "Woman came home to find the front door slightly ajar. She called her husband and waited for him to get home before going in. They went in and found a masked man in their living room, unhooking their expensive paintings from the walls. The man was startled by them and fired two shots. One into the wall, the other hit the husband in his chest. Robber fled the scene, woman called the paramedics, the husband is still in this hospital."

Nick nodded as he pulled onto the 215 Beltway in the direction of Henderson. "Did she get a clear look of his face?"

Sara shook her head, "They did set her up with a sketch artist, but she couldn't get further than his height and the fact that he was Caucasian. Let's hope he didn't watch too many crime shows about leaving trace evidence behind," she grinned slightly to herself. They spent the rest of the car ride in comfortable silence and arrived at their scene only twenty minutes after leaving the crime lab. Detective Vartann was waiting for them at the front door, a notepad in his hand. "How's the husband?" Sara asked.

Vartann gave an apologetic look, "No news, they think they have him stabilized, but the next twenty-four hours are critical. I'm heading over soon to see if the doctors will allow me to take his statement, if he can give it."

Sara nodded and went inside with Nick, her flashlight showing the blood pool on the light carpet. She kneeled down and set her kit next to her. After cutting a piece of the carpet out and bagging it, she looked up at Nick. "He has lost a lot of blood," she commented.

Nick looked up from dusting for fingerprints and looked at the blood pool Sara was kneeled next to. "It would be a miracle if he pulls through," he added to her statement and let out a deep sigh. "So far only partials, let's hope Mandy can work her magic on them anyway." He labeled the fingerprints and put them in his kit before getting up with a small groan. "My knees are killing me, you mind if I take the front door instead of the rest of the floor?"

Sara smiled friendly at Nick, "Of course, no problem. You sure you're okay?" She asked.

"I will be fine, thanks Sar, I owe you one," Nick said and picked up his kit, walking towards the front door. He spoke slightly louder when he did his analysis, so Sara would be able to hear him as well. "Looks as though the robber didn't have to work hard to get inside. No tool marks whatsoever, do you think they always leave the door unlocked?"

Looking around at the expensive paintings and electronic devices Sara shook her head to herself, "No one with such belongings would leave their door open voluntarily," she replied and walked towards the wall where she saw a bullet hole. She took out her tweezers and carefully took the bullet from the wall. ".45 calibre," she called out to Nick.

She frowned as she looked down to her left. A small drawer of a cabinet was opened, the key still placed inside the lock. Carefully she slid the drawer open to reveal dark blue velvet with the outlines of a gun. "Nick? I think the robber might have used their own gun on them," she said before taking a picture.

Nick came back inside and peeked over her shoulder, "He must have known that's where they keep their gun…"

"And not only that, what about the key to unlock this drawer?" Sara wondered.

"Add to that the fact that there weren't any toolmarks on the door…" Nick continued, "they must know their robber."

An hour later Nick and Sara returned from their crime scene. They dropped off their trace evidence, ballistics and DNA evidence at the labs and headed for the locker room, rounding off their day. Nick grabbed his jacket and gave her a smile, "I'll see you tomorrow Sara," he said and was about to head out of the room.

"Nick, wait…" Sara started and shook her head slightly, "you uhm… wanna go grab some breakfast? I would like to pick your brains about something," she admitted and blushed a little bit, feeling silly having to discuss relationship issues with a man. However, he was her closest friend, and that had to count for something.

Nick frowned, "Uhm… yeah sure, where did you wanna go?"

"Doesn't matter to me, whatever you feel like, my treat," Sara replied as they headed towards the door. "As long as there's no bacon," she added with a slight chuckle, "but…"

"I knew that already, yeah," Nick grinned as he opened the car door for her. "What about pancakes? Just traditional pancakes," he asked as he started the car.

"Sounds good to me," Sara replied and wondered if she should tell him already what she wanted to talk about. "Remember we worked at the deaf institution together yesterday?"

Nick nodded, "Yeah, it was so nice to meet your mother in law," he replied as he kept his eyes on the road. "Why? Is something wrong with Mrs. Grissom?"

"No, no it's nothing like that," Sara replied as they arrived at the breakfast café. They sat down in a booth at the window and ordered. "It's something she said to me, it's been stuck in my head and I can't get it out," she confessed.

"Well what is it then?" Nick asked gently.

Sara blushed slightly and pushed her pancake around on her plate, "She said that what Gil and I have… well she said it's not a marriage," she whispered.

Nick was silent for a moment and looked at her, "Sara, what you two have, it may not be a traditional marriage, but you share… so much love and commitment, that's what's marriage to me," he told her and put his fork down. "Why is this bothering you so much, it hasn't before right?"

Sara pursed her lips and shook her head, "I don't know… Maybe it was the disappointment in her eyes, maybe it's just because I'm missing Gil."

"Well, he is coming home this weekend right?" Nick asked. When Sara nodded he continued, "I think it might be a good idea to talk to him about this and see how he feels. But remember, it's about the two of you and not your nice mother in law, right?"

Sara nodded slightly, "I just… sometimes I wonder why I came back, y'know? I was happy with him there, I spent every day with him, waking up together, going to sleep together. And now… now we see each other a weekend a month if we're lucky. And I know that it has made me happy for the past few months and it does seem to work for us, but… what's a marriage if you rarely spend time together?"

Nick wanted to interrupt her, but Sara held up her hand. "Maybe… maybe I should just quit and go back to Gil," she finished. She didn't dare to look up at Nick for a moment, she knew what he felt.

"If that is what you think will make you truly happy, that's what you need to do," Nick whispered, emotion evident in his voice as he grabbed her hand. "You know I love you like a sister, and all I want for you is to be happy Sar," he said, "but promise me one thing…"

Sara looked up at him, "What?"

"Sleep on it for one more night at least," Nick told her and squeezed her hand. He gave her a smile before releasing her hand, "Promise?"

"Promise," Sara replied as she gave him a smile.

* * *

**To be continued**


	2. Or should I go

_A/N: Thanks for the nice words, I'm glad people still like reading GSR fanfiction. I hope you'll like where I'm going with this story. Please let me know what you think in a review. _

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**Chapter 2:**

Sara tossed and turned in her bed that morning, thinking about Nick's words. He was right, a marriage was between two people, and as long as they shared love it could be counted as a marriage. But could she continue living her life like this, pushing her own dreams and wishes on the back row for the rest of her life? She never imagined she would want what most women wish for… a family. Did she truly want that now, or was this her mother in law talking again?

She sighed and slipped out from underneath the covers and rubbed her eyes. When her feet touched the cold floor she pulled them up quickly and looked around for something to wear on her feet. When she didn't see anything, she let out a groan and got up, slowly walking towards the bathroom to freshen up. She slipped into a hot shower, washed her hair and shaved. In just two hours she would go pick up her husband from the airport, she had to get herself together before that. She closed the tap and wrapped a huge towel around her body, looking at her pale reflection in the mirror. "Ugh, don't let this get to you," she muttered to herself as she brushed her hair back and put it in a ponytail.

After two mugs of coffee and a small bowl of cereal she grabbed the leash and called out to Hank. The dog merely lifted his head, let out a groan and closed his eyes again. Sara looked at the clock, 11 am. She had only slept for a few hours and it seemed like Hank was planning on getting a few more hours. "Come on big guy, just a small walk," she said and gave him a pat on his butt to get him to move. Eventually he got up and together they went out the front door.

Outside Sara's mind was still busy dissecting everything her mother in law had told her. She was very distracted and didn't even notice that Hank was already done and now sitting at her feet staring up with lazy eyes, as if he was telling her to hurry up so he could go back to sleep. 'I really have to talk to Gil about this,' Sara thought to herself as she closed her eyes, feeling a slight breeze on her face. 'But what do I tell him, that I'm not happy? I am happy… do I want to conform to his mother's wishes just because that is more conventional? Would he want me to give up my job and be with him?' Sara shook the thoughts when she felt Hank nudge her leg. She chuckled slightly and started walking back to the house. "Let's get you something to eat and then you can enjoy your sleep," she told the dog.

After feeding Hank and quickly checking herself in the hall mirror and deciding this was as good as it was going to get, Sara left the townhouse and locked the door behind her. The car beeped as she pushed the unlock button and Sara looked back at the house one more time to make sure every window was shut and the door was definitely closed. She got in the car, tuned the radio to a classic rock station and drove off. She concentrated on singing along with the lyrics and slowly a smile grew on her face. She hadn't seen Gil for nearly two months now, apart from the video calls, and she was glad that tonight she could finally hold him in her arms again, or rather the other way around.

* * *

It took her nearly twenty minutes to find a parking spot in the McCarran parking garage and it was a pretty long walk to the arrivals hall. On the way she passed several shops and after looking at her watch she decided she had a little time left to do some shopping to surprise Gil. She browsed the bookstore for something Gil would find interesting, but came up empty. She let out a sigh and looked at the lingerie store, would she dare? Shaking her head Sara walked to the flower shop, finding a plant she knew Gil would like. It had become a tradition of sorts for them, instead of giving each other flowers they would give each other a plant, which showed from their 'botanic garden' in the living room. She bought an extra card to attach to the plant, borrowed a pen from the clerk and wrote a short message before making her way to the arrivals hall, checking the arrival times.

It didn't take her long to see him walking through the sliding doors. He had a smile on his face as they approached each other, and when he was close enough he slipped the bag from his shoulder and took her in his arms for the tightest hug she'd felt in a long time. She kissed the side of his neck before pulling back slightly, only to go back in for a proper kiss.

Grissom smiled as he kept his hands on her lower back. "I missed you," he whispered as he gave her another kiss.

"I missed you too," Sara replied as her eyes glazed over a little bit. She was determined not to say anything about the thoughts she'd been having. Instead she bent down to grab the plant and gave it to him with a small smile. "I uhm… got you a little something," she said, "welcome home."

Grissom took the plant from her hand and quickly scanned the card. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he read her words: _I counted the days…_ "So did I," he said as he wrapped one arm around her waist as they made their way towards the exit.

* * *

When they got home Grissom took his sweet time to greet Hank. When the dog settled in his spot again he moved to the couch, sitting next to Sara. She could see he had to try his hardest not to tell anything about his work. She knew he was passionate about it, and she knew he wanted to learn how to be more thoughtful towards her. When he asked her how she had been, she wasn't quite sure how to respond. "Well, fine I guess," she started as she filled him in on her most recent finished cases. "I had a nice talk with your mother after we last talked over Skype," she said as she took a hold of his hand, "I think we're finally getting to a point that we're comfortable with each other."

Grissom gave her a smile and squeezed her hand, "That's more than I could've asked for," he replied and brought her hand up to give it a kiss. "So have you thought about where you want to go for dinner?"

Sara furrowed her brow, "I uhm… thought we would be spending the night in, since it's our first weekend together in… well, quite a long time."

With an understanding smile, Grissom looked at her. "Well, I promised my mom I would take you both out to dinner, and since she's leaving for Florida tomorrow…" He looked apologetically at her.

Sara pursed her lips and then nodded, "Okay, it's okay, we'll uhm… we'll have time together after that." She tried her hardest not to let the disappointment sound through in her voice, but she could see in his eyes that he'd heard it. "You can decide where you want to go, you know what your mother likes," she added and gave a smile, trying to show him that it was alright.

When Grissom went to take a shower Sara sat down on the couch, fighting the tears of frustration that were threatening to fall. Maybe Betty had been right after all, a weekend a month (or two months in this case) wasn't enough, certainly not if he would start making other plans during their time together. She knew now, she had to go back with him to Peru, she couldn't stay and count the days until she could see him for a weekend again.

She quickly slipped into the bathroom and undressed, stepping into the shower with Grissom. When she saw his surprised look, she smiled, "We better hurry if we want to be in time for dinner," she said and grabbed the shower gel to wash his back. Grissom refused to turn around, however, wrapping his strong arms around her and dipping her back for an intimate kiss. Sara quickly kissed him before pulling back, "Later," she whispered huskily.

Grissom let out a playful groan and eventually allowed her to wash him. When she was done they switched roles and only ten minutes later they stood wrapped together in a large bath towel. "I wish we could just stay in," Grissom whispered huskily in her ear, his growing excitement adding to his message.

Sara kissed his cheek, "That was my original plan," she replied and gave him a smile. "But we have time tonight, so let's… save this," she said after giving a playful grind.

It took them several tries before they untangled themselves and dried off. Nearly half an hour later the both of them were dressed and ready to head out. "Who's driving?" Grissom asked as he grabbed the car keys.

"I am," Sara responded, "you've spent too many hours on sandy roads with barely any traffic," she chuckled as she grabbed the car keys from his hand. "I don't think it's safe to let you drive here in Vegas just yet."

Grissom nodded, "Sounds fair," he grinned as he got into the passenger side. They were going to pick up his mother at her home first, and then they would head to a small Italian restaurant he knew both Sara and his mother loved. While she drove he cast several glances at her. He wasn't known for being very observant when it came to emotions, but he could see something was up. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly as he looked at her, "you seem… distracted," he decided.

"I'm fine Gil," Sara said and gave him a sweet smile, to underline her statement. "Really, don't worry about it."

This comment gave Grissom the last hint he needed, something was definitely up. "Is it something I did?" He asked, worried for a second that she might be mad at him.

Sara swallowed the lump in her throat, "It's just… it's silly. Something your mom said made me think, but it shouldn't."

"What did she say?" Grissom asked as they drove onto the driveway to his mother's house.

"That what we have is not a real marriage," Sara said and killed the engine. "She said that your father and her, they never spent a night apart and that's how a marriage is supposed to be. I told her that what we have works for us, even though it might be unconventional. I dunno… guess that just stuck in my head."

Grissom smiled gently at her and grabbed her hand. "That's just how she is Sara, she's been trying to force me into everything that's conventional from the day I was born. And well… you see how that turned out. This marriage works for us, and it just takes her some time to get used to that. And even if she doesn't, it's something between us and we have to do what makes us happy."

Sara nodded a bit and turned slightly in her seat. "I do wish we would see each other more often…" she started when Grissom interrupted her.

"We discussed this before, there's no time and money for me to come back more often, you know that," he said, but she wouldn't let him continue.

"I want to go back with you."

* * *

**To be continued**


	3. Let's do it

_A/N: Sorry for the slight delay on this chapter, hope you like it!_

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**Chapter 3:**

"Sara…" Grissom let out a sigh and shook his head slightly, "I uh…"

He never got a chance to finish what he wanted to say, because Betty Grissom came walking out her front door, waving enthusiastically at them. When she stood next to the car, Grissom got out to give his mother a hug. "_I've missed you,"_ he signed as he allowed his mother to sit in the front seat, sliding in the back himself.

Sara greeted her mother in law with a warm smile and started the car. "Where did you want to go, Gil?" She asked as she backed out of the driveway.

"That little Italian place I took you to the last time I was here," Grissom said.

* * *

When they arrived at the restaurant, Gil found the three of them a quiet booth in the back of the restaurant. Sara recognized the table as the one they sat at last time they were here. She scooted in next to Grissom, her mother in law across the table from her. For now, she decided it was best to focus on casual talk, she didn't know if she could handle Betty discussing their marriage any more. "_What time does your plane leave tomorrow?_" She signed as the waiter came to bring them the menus.

"_Seven a.m.,_" Betty signed back and looked at Grissom. "_Would you mind bringing me to the airport?_" She asked.

Grissom looked at Sara, a sad look on his face. On the one hand he didn't want to disappoint his mother, and he definitely did not want her to take a cab early in the morning while it was still dark out in Vegas. He knew, however, that if he decided to honor his mother's request, he would disappoint Sara and that was something he swore he never wanted to do again.

Sara could see the question in his eyes and she could see he was torn. They would only have two nights together, and taking his mother to the airport meant he would have to get up at five in the morning after one of the nights. She mentally 'cursed' her mother in law for taking this moment away from her and for putting her in a corner when it came to making a decision together with Gil. Telling him she didn't want him to go, would create tension between her and Betty, something she didn't want after they'd agreed to start over. Allowing him to go in the morning, would mean denying herself his presence.

"It's fine…" she whispered and tried to give her husband an encouraging smile. "I understand," she added and took his hand in hers. She tried her hardest to be supportive and gentle towards him, but on the inside she felt tense.

Grissom gave her a small smile and kissed her cheek, "I'll hurry," he whispered. Then he turned to his mother, who had been waiting for a reply. "_I'll pick you up at five, be ready,_" he signed and picked up the menu.

For a moment all three of them looked at the menu, trying to find something to satisfy their appetite. When they'd made a decision, Gil decided on a pizza 'quattro stagioni', his mother took a pasta with mushrooms and Sara asked for a vegetable lasagna.

"_I'm glad you're back with your wife Gilbert, isn't this what you want permanently?_" Betty Grissom asked her son while they waited for their food. She looked back and forth between her son and his wife and smiled at the both of them. "_You seem so much happier when you are together,_" she continued, "_and you know, if I'm ever to have grandchildren…"_

"_Enough mom,_" Grissom signed and looked at Sara, "_we're happy this way, we don't have to see each other every day to know that we love each other. As for grandkids, we are not thinking about that yet,"_ he finished and squeezed Sara's hand. "Or are we?" he whispered in her direction, before kissing her cheek again.

Sara shook her head and tried to find a topic they could discuss that wouldn't make her feel uncomfortable. "_How long will you stay in Florida?" _ Sara asked Betty.

"_I think two weeks, maybe longer, who knows,"_ she smiled. Betty Grissom was determined not to let the previous subject slide and turned her attention to her son again, "_You know I'm not getting any younger Gilbert, I would like the opportunity to be able to lift up my grandchild," _she told him and took a bite from her plate that the waiter had just brought them.

Grissom let out a sigh and dropped his fork on his plate, "_Mom, we don't want to talk about this right now. This is something between Sara and I, something we should discuss in private,"_ he signed hastily, knowing that the moment they would be home tonight, this topic would come back to discussion. "_Let's just eat for now, okay?"_

Betty hesitantly nodded, a little impressed with her sons words. She looked at Sara, trying to figure out if she'd reached the young woman. Would she change her mind? Would she convince Gil to stay in Las Vegas and start a family with her?

* * *

The drive back to Betty's house after dinner was spent is silence, as the rest of the dinner had been. There was tension between them and Sara wasn't really sure who was the cause. Her mother in law's words stuck in her head again and she couldn't wait to talk to Gil about her plans of moving back to Peru with him. Or maybe they could start over somewhere else entirely. She had always dreamed of going to Europe, maybe this was their chance. They could go to England, or perhaps Italy.

"_I'll see you in the morning mom, good night," _Grissom signed and Sara gave Betty a quick hug as they dropped her off at her house.

When they got back in the car together the first few minutes they were both quiet. It was Grissom who eventually broke the silence, "About what my mom said…" he started and let out a sigh, "she has nothing to do with this. I don't want you to worry about what she said," he finished and looked sideways at his wife, who had her eyes on the road ahead of them.

"I think she may be right," Sara whispered and quickly stole a glance. "Being apart this long… I can't take it anymore Gil, I need to be with you. No matter how much I love working at the crime lab, being with you is more important to me. Let's… let's go somewhere new, start over, make a live together," she said and drove onto their driveway.

Grissom didn't respond for a while, thinking about her words as well as her mother's. Sure, he would love to have her with him, but he wanted her to be happy, and she was happy in Vegas. He knew, from past experience, she would eventually be bored wherever he was.

"Sara…," he started, but she cut him off by kissing him hungrily. "Honey," he tried again after breaking their kiss. "I want you to think this through," he whispered before he allowed her to push him against the front door. She unlocked the door behind his back and together they tumbled inside, immediately finding their way to the couch.

Sara straddled him and started lifting his black v-neck t-shirt. Her hands roamed his chest and he let out a shaky moan. Slowly she started to lift her own shirt, enjoying the look she could see in his eyes. The hunger, the passion. As she undid her bra behind her back, she felt Grissom working on her jeans. She got up and pulled down her jeans and her panties, standing complete bare in front of him. After giving him time to admire her, she pulled off his remaining clothes and straddled him again. She felt him slide into her and let out a soft moan.

Grissom's hand found her hips and he closed his eyes in bliss. "God Sara, I missed you," he breathed out and massaged her skin.

Sara slowly and teasingly rocked her hips, her hands on his shoulders.

It took them only minutes to find their release and Sara collapsed on top of him, her sweaty forehead against his. She tried to regain her breathing and slowly set herself down next to him on the couch, pulling a blanket over their bodies. "I love you," she whispered and nestled against him.

"I love you too," he whispered back and wrapped his arm around her. "We should head to bed soon," he said and looked at the clock on the wall.

Sara nodded and looked at him, "I don't want to think any longer, I want to be with you and start over," she said, "no discussion."

Grissom opened and closed his mouth. It would be nice to have her in his bed every night, he had to agree on that. But would they go to Peru together? He doubted it, he knew she had to be able to get something to do as well. Maybe she could find a teaching job somewhere, maybe they both could. "Okay, let's do it," he whispered and kissed her cheek. "Not Peru though, somewhere else," he added.

Sara smiled widely, the idea of being able to spend most of her days with him excited her. "What about Europe? London or Rome would be amazing…"

"Rome it is," Grissom grinned and gave her a passionate kiss. "I love you so much, but for now let's sleep, it's only a short night."

* * *

**To be continued**


	4. More waiting

_A/N: Thanks for everybody who's taken the time to read and review this, it means a lot to me to hear from all of you!_

* * *

**Chapter 4:**

When Sara woke up the next morning, the spot in bed next to her was already cold. It felt as though he hadn't even slept next to her, although she knew differently. He had fallen asleep spooned behind her after their lovemaking.

She stretched slowly and yawned, it was only 5.30 in the morning, but sleep wouldn't come to her anymore. She decided to get up, take a long relaxing shower and then take Hank for a long walk.

Hank seemed to be very happy to be outside again and ran across the park, wagging his tail. He found a stick and brought it to Sara to throw for him. Sara grinned, it had been a while since she spent this much time with Hank. By the time the sun started to warm up everything around her, and Hank had his tongue hanging near his feet it was time to head home.

Upon arrival Sara noticed Grissom's car in the driveway. She unhooked Hank's leash, "go look who's home boy," she said to him as she watched the dog hurry to the front door.

She opened it for him and hung the leash on the small hook in the hallway, took off her coat and made her way to the living room, from which she heard excited noises of a dog and its owner.

When Grissom saw her enter the living room he smiled and got up to give her a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers, before giving her a sweet kiss. "From now on it's just you and me babe," he whispered, "no more interruptions by my mother."

Sara smiled and kissed him again, "Good to know," she replied and cupped his cheek. "You look tired," she whispered, "can I get you some coffee, and breakfast maybe?" She asked.

Grissom nodded, "That would be great honey," he said and followed her to the kitchen, to help her. "You do the coffee, I'll do the pancakes."

Sara grabbed the coffee and put it in the coffee maker, adding the water to the reservoir. When the coffee was percolating she turned around to face Grissom's back as he was preparing pancake batter. "When do you think we could move to Rome?" She asked.

Grissom didn't turn around, but finished making the batter first. When that was done, he faced her. "It might take a couple of months," he said and looked apologetically. "I have so much left to do in Peru and I think you have some cases to finish up as well," he replied, always the rational thinker.

"What if I wanted to go with you to Peru after this weekend?" Sara asked, "I know Nick wouldn't mind taking Hank until we have a more permanent solution."

"Honey, I want to start a new life with you, in Europe. Peru is my chapter, I have to finish that first. Besides, you have to give Ecklie some time to interview and hire your replacement," he told her. "We've survived all this time apart already, what's another two or three months?"

Sara nodded warily, "I guess you're right," she said as she watched him start with the pancakes. "I just got excited, I can't wait to go to Rome with you," she whispered and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

Grissom finished baking the pancakes before he turned around, "You could start by looking for apartments for us to rent, see what kind of job you would want to do there," he suggested as he handed her a plate.

"That sounds nice," Sara admitted as she took the plate from him, sitting down at the breakfast bar. "You know, I guess I'm glad you're mother wishes something more conventional for us, because it feels good," she whispered, taking a bite.

With his mouth full Grissom nodded, "I think for the first time in my life I agree with her on doing something less unconventional," he agreed, "however, I still believe that what we have, or had, is a good thing. It worked for us."

"I'm not so sure Gil, I wanted it to work for us and I know it did for you, but…" Sara started, but didn't finish her sentence because of the lump in her throat.

"What is it honey?" Gil asked, suddenly a bit worried by her change of tone. "Is it something I said?"

Sara shook her head and took his hand, "It's just something for another time, let's… let's do something fun today," she suggested.

Grissom wasn't about to back down from it this easily, and while she was pouring them a cup of coffee he wondered what she could've been talking about. "Are you not happy anymore?" He asked, his voice unsteady.

"Gil…" Sara started as her eyes widened a bit, "Of course I'm happy. I love you," she whispered and placed her hand on his cheek. "I just feel that there's more to our marriage then there is at the moment. I mean… don't you think we should be taking care of something more than just a dog?"

"Well there's always the other pets," Grissom said with a smile, but then his face turned serious, "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" He asked.

Sara nodded a little bit, before looking up at him. "I didn't think I would ever want to, you know… start a family. I think I do though," she confessed and waited for his reaction. They had never really discussed having children before, and she wasn't sure what his opinion on the topic was. "It's fine if you don't…" she started, but before she could continue Grissom pushed his lips against hers.

Pulling back after kissing her, Grissom gave her a gentle smile, "Are you sure that's what you want, or is that what my mother wants?" He asked, which earned him an elbow to his side. "Okay okay," he chuckled, "how long have you been thinking about this?" He asked as he grabbed her hand.

"From the moment I said 'yes' to you," she whispered, "but I've always found your dreams more important," she admitted. "And I wasn't sure if you'd want to have kids, since we'd never really discussed."

"I don't think I wanted to have kids, what would I have to give?" Grissom pondered for a moment, "but now… I think you would make a great mom," he whispered and kissed her cheek. "If this is really what you want," he started, but Sara interrupted him.

"I do, but I need you to be a hundred percent sure as well," she told him, searching his eyes, finding nothing but love and commitment.

Grissom gave her a deep kiss and that was the end of the conversation. They agreed that once they were settled in Rome, they would start trying. Sara agreed to stop taking the pill, in order to monitor her periods more closely.

* * *

The rest of the weekend they spent talking about their likes and dislikes on children and how they would want to raise their child. They even agreed on a name for a boy and for a girl and Sara couldn't help but start browsing for baby furniture and close.

On Sunday evening, when it was time to leave for the airport, Grissom gave Sara the tightest hug. "I should be able to come down again in four weeks," he whispered as he nuzzled his face in her neck.

Sara pulled back a little, revealing the tears in her eyes. "I will count the days," she whispered before pulling him close again.

"Just a few more months sweetie," Grissom whispered back and kissed her deeply, before pulling away. "I'll call you once I arrive," he promised, and with that he walked out the door, leaving Sara alone for the next four weeks.

* * *

**To be continued **


	5. I can't do this anymore

_A/N: I'm terribly sorry for the long delay on this! I just started at my new teaching job and it's been taking up almost all of my time. Thanks for still being here and taking the time to review, as I've said previously, it means a lot to hear from you. _

**Chapter 5:**

Soon after Grissom had left again for Peru, Sara found herself driving towards the lab. She was going to the hospital with Nick to check up on the B&E victim and after that they would spend the rest of their shift at the lab, looking at the gun and the biological and chemical traces they'd found. She found herself humming along with the song on the radio, wondering why she was in such a good mood now that Grissom had left. The answer came soon, this would be their last time spent away from each other.

Nick was waiting for her in the parking lot and as soon as she'd parked the car, he hopped in the passenger seat. "Hey Sar, had a good weekend?" He asked with a wink as he buckled up.

Sara smiled as they drove in the direction of Desert Palm Hospital, "As a matter of fact I did Nicky," she replied, keeping her eyes on the road. She had no intentions of sharing what Grissom and she had discussed with her friend, but it was hard to wipe the grin off her face.

"Looks like a load of fun," Nick merely grinned, knowing not to push her for any information. He wasn't even sure whether he wanted more information, he was just glad she was happy.

Upon arrival at the hospital the nurse told them that the victim was awake and they could talk to him for about five minutes. They decided not to crowd the man, so Sara would go in alone. She sat down next to the man's bed and waited until he opened his eyes to look at her. "Mr Jenkins, how are you feeling?" She asked gently.

The man let out a small groan, accompanied by "Mhhmmm, okay." He looked at her and saw the notepad in her hands. "I'm not sure… how much… I can tell you," he said, between gasps for air. He was obviously still in a lot of pain, and Sara knew all too well that he wasn't out of the danger zone yet. The nurse had told her that they'd been able to stop the internal bleeding for now, but there was no telling if it was permanently stopped.

Sara nodded, "I understand sir, could you start at the beginning please?"

"I arrived home… at around 3pm. I noticed the door was slightly open…," he breathed hoarsely. "I could see someone… a man… with his back turned to me. He had… he had my gun," he said.

"Any idea how he could've found that?" Sara asked gently.

Mr Jenkins shook his head slowly, "It's always… locked," he replied. "I keep the key hidden in one of my books."

"How many people know of that key? Is it possible someone told other people about it?"

This time he nodded, "My wife and kids know… and my brothers and sister," he replied. "I've been storing… it there… for years."

After Sara had written everything the man had said, she went out into the hallway to find Nick. "I think we're looking for a family member," she told him as she explained what the man had told her. "It would be possible for someone in the family to have talked about the location of the key, but something tells me this was personal," she added.

Nick nodded, "Poor guy."

"Let's just do our jobs and hope he pulls through," Sara said gently and bit her lower lip. Something about the man's condition didn't sit right with her.

It took the two CSI's about an hour to get back through the lab because of traffic. Upon arrival they quickly went their separate ways to work on the evidence to make the case. All that they had was a smudged fingerprint on the gun and some fibers from the floor around the cabinet where the gun had been.

The fingerprint couldn't give them any results until they had something to compare it to, and the fibers turned out to be from the car seat of a Ford. David couldn't be any more specific, so this lead was also not helping them.

"Hey Nick," Sara started after walking into the ballistics lab, "shall I go pick up that book where the key was supposed to be? Maybe it was put back in and it might give us some more fingerprint material to work with."

Nick nodded, "Do you need me to come with you?" He asked.

Sara shook her head, "I'll be fine, you keep doing what you're doing and I'll see you in a bit."

It took her only half an hour to get to the scene and she could easily locate the book which was supposed to have the key in it. Carefully she took it from the shelve and opened it. The key was indeed in there. She grabbed her fingerprint powder and really carefully dusted the key. "We have a winner," she whispered to herself as she lifted the print, scanning it and sending it to Nick to give him a head start on processing.

Getting back to the lab took her a little longer than expected and when she arrived she found Nick behind a computer in the lab. "We have a match," he informed her. "Dave Jenkins, the victim's brother. Seems to be an alcoholic and drug addict, it didn't seem like they were in touch regularly."

Sara nodded, "Probably did it for money," she whispered and shook her head. "Let me call Brass," she added and took out her phone, dialing the number.

When he picked up the phone she heard his regular, low and brisk "Brass." She smiled slightly to herself and explained what she had found on the scene. She asked him to put out an APB on the suspect's car, a Ford and to track down Dave Jenkins.

Brass said he would give it a try and when Sara wanted to hang up, he told her to wait. "I just heard from the hospital," he explained. "Mr Jenkins went back to surgery, he didn't make it this time around. Our assault just became a homicide. I need you to go over there and have him transferred to Doc Robbins," Brass explained.

Sara felt a pang in her chest when Brass hung up the phone. She had witnessed it all many times before, but right at that moment she didn't feel anything but sympathy and grief for the woman who had just lost her husband.

With her mind set on autopilot Sara drove back to the hospital to arrange for Mr Jenkins to be transferred to the hospital. She met up with Nick, who was talking to a very upset and emotional Mrs Jenkins. She could feel a tear slip down her cheek and walked out of the hospital, breathing in the air. She could feel a tremble through her entire body and felt how she was losing control. Sara Sidle never lost control. Never. Up until now.

It was half an hour later when Nick found her on a bench in the park next to the hospital. "Sar?" He asked gently as he touched her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I can't do this anymore Nicky. I can't… I can't imagine how it must be to lose a person so dear to you. I… Grissom and I have lived apart for too long, if he… if he died, I wouldn't have spent enough time with him…"

Nick wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders. "If that's how you truly feel Sar, then I think it's time for you guys to be together," he said. "Granted, I would miss you like crazy, but all I want is for you to be happy girl."

Sara smiled weakly at him, sideways. "Thanks Nicky, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that," she said.

When Nick left her alone a few minutes later she took out her cellphone, dialing the familiar number. "Griss, it's me…"

**To be continued**


End file.
